I'm laying in your front yard are you home
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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