p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
