I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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