somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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