it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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