Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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