dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So vagazzling was a success
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
