I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it wasn't lemon gatorade
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
