I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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