i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
