Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
