It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
