I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
