If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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