What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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