i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
