Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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