she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
