mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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