is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
