But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
