you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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