Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
