Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
