he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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