I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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