She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
