there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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