No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
