did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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