thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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