My friends, they love my intelligence
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
