at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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