i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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