I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
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My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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