what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
