i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
