is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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