Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
