I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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