I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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