It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
