I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
