I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
