We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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