I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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