it was like his penis was on wheels.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
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These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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