Jerry, you need to find god
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
