So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
