Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
