so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
