worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Damn victory sex feels great
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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