tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
