So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize