i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
