i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
