Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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